Gray Matters: Rewriting the Rules of Aging and Beauty with Linda Black
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Gray hair, beauty standards, and giving zero F*CKs about outdated rules—Andrea and Linda are diving into it all. Linda gets real about ditching the dye, the weird looks and positive comments that came with it, and how the beauty industry loves to make women feel like they need fixing. They break down how media messes with our heads about aging, why menopause is finally getting some attention, and how the next generation can stop buying into the BS. It’s all about owning your choices, rewriting the rules, and embracing exactly who you are—gray hair and all.
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Just this past fall, maybe it's a September thing in Canada, Costco, you know, the fashion capital of the world, they had, brought in a bunch of their Christmas winter wear, whatever, and they have these, downfield vests. It has zipper on them, and I grabbed one to try on, and they don't have mirrors there. And, you know, I'm just looking for something cheap to keep me warm while I occasionally accompany my husband walking the dogs. Anyway, so I'm trying to trying to put on this vest or putting on this vest, and I'm looking around. Can't really see a mirror anywhere. But, you know, you kind of, like, you know, put your on. You're stretching your arms out. You're twisting your body, just, you know, getting a feel for how it feels. And this woman comes up to me. If I had to guess, I would guess she's, probably about my age, but looks way older. Just kidding. I'm just being a bitch. Anyway, she she, she comes over and she kind of says, oh, excuse me. What size are you trying on? And I'm just thinking like, oh, she's asking me because she's sizing herself up, and maybe she likes it. And maybe she's trying to decide, like, maybe we're the same size or, you know, whatever, comparing to see what size she should try. And I was like, oh. I said, oh, I'm trying on a medium. And she looks me up and down, gives me this kind of snarky little look, and says, you might wanna try a large. Like, what the fuck? Seriously? I can't even tell you how many times I have had these things happen to me. Like, it's fucking insane. I tell you, I'm a weird magnet for this bullshit. And I just kinda stood there and I kinda I didn't even know what to say and she had already kind of gone. Like, what am I gonna do though? Like, fight her in the middle of Costco? It was just like it was just so weird. Such a weird situation. And, you know, my friend Karen and I were talking about it on the podcast, and, she had said to me, you know, if if she had said you should get a smaller size, would you have been offended? Well, you know, of course not because society has taught us not to be offended if people think that you're smaller. So I think that's probably a point that that, KB was trying to make. But, yeah, it's insane. What would you do? Welcome to the fuck you fifties, the podcast for women who refuse to tolerate the bullshit anymore. This is real talk, real stories, and a long overdue reality check. I'm your host, Andrea Clare, and this podcast is the filter free voice you've been waiting for with a dose of f bombs, the fuck you fifties, unfiltered, unapologetic, and undeniably needed. My guest today is Linda Black, who was an international model and TV host for HBO Asia. Linda and I had worked together and became friends while we're both living in Singapore. She shares how not complying with producers and agents and choosing to go gray killed her on camera career. Now Linda is happy to be back in Texas with her family, working for a gynecologist, women's clinic, advocating for herself and others, breaking stereotypes and testing boundaries. Be you, be loud, and anyone else who tells you differently, fuck them. Those words of wisdom from Linda and more on today's podcast. Welcome to the fuck you fifties. Speaker 1
Linda. Hey. Speaker 0
I am so sorry. Speaker 1
No. No. No. We're it like, talk about being old. We can't even figure out this dang app. Speaker 0
Oh my god. I tell you. Like, I I I'm a bit cocky because I do tend to be good with technology, and then I and then I don't know. I guess, like, you know, that's what happens when you're too cocky. Right? Anyway, thank you so much. I really appreciate your time, and it's so good to see you. Speaker 1
It is excellent to see you. Yeah. I miss you. Speaker 0
I miss you too. So I guess I'll just kinda, like, jump in. So, again, like, thank you, so much. I really appreciate your time. This is a project that I've been thinking about for a while. And then my producer, Amy and I, we met on a shoot, and I was you know, she's a podcast producer, and then I was telling her about this idea I had. And she's like, let's chat. I think you've got a great idea. So this is kind of how this kind of came about. And, and so, basically, it's, you know, the fuck you fifties. And as somebody that that is fifty three and I've been in this, you know, entertainment fashion industry for so many years and, of course, it's not just about, like, that industry. Right? But it's also just about as we're getting older. And I guess for me, again, from the beauty perspective is people saying things about, oh, like like, antiaging makeup or mature skin, and it drives me body because I feel like it breeds this, this stereotype that is just, like, so not true. And as you know, with your with your gray hair, you know, I mean, that I guess that's kind of I I can't remember how, like, how we met initially. Like, was it was it for doing your hair, or was it just, like, from, like, a, like, a friend perspective? I I honestly don't remember what kind what came first, you know, the gray hair or the friendship. Speaker 1
You and I met at an event. Okay. Speaker 0
I'm glad your memory is better than mine. Speaker 1
We met with another, TV host and then we kind of got to be friendly and then we kind of took it from there. Speaker 0
Yeah. So, and then I just I always find it kind of fascinating just, I guess one of the things of being, like, on camera is that your look is not always something that you get to own. Right? I remember when I first started doing your hair, it was just, you know, you had gray hair and and, you know, you needed it covered up. And and then, again, I don't remember all the the, like, the time stamps of it all. But I do remember, first of all, you coming to me and saying, and I had been already doing your hair quite a few times. Right? And then sometimes you would be sponsored by other salons. You had a, like, a project or something that they would be sponsoring for for your hair. Yes. And I remember you saying to me, I'm suffering through blisters for, like, two weeks after getting my hair done. And I'm like, oh my god, Linda. That's an allergy. You're for sure. Like, you you need to not color your hair. And I remember trying to find a product. I had a client years ago that had the same kind of allergy, and so we're trying to like, recommending this, I think it's an American product, Hermitent, to see if we could get that for you to Singapore. And, and at that same kind of conversation, you were saying, I also don't mind my gray hair. I can happily just grow it out. Why don't you, if you don't mind, just sharing your experience about, the beauty standards that you were being faced with and and having gray hair, which is gorgeous, by the way. Thank you. Speaker 1
Thank you so much. And I take great care of it. Thanks to you. You've introduced me to a whole, like, product line that I'm able to take care of it naturally, and I don't color it at all anymore. But, yeah, you're exactly right. I was a model for thirty years. By the time I met you, I think I was around hovering around twenty, twenty some odd years in the industry. In my image, I've never owned my own image. It's owned by someone else. And so what that means, for anyone listening out there that doesn't understand, that means anytime that I wanted to cut my hair, color it, change anything about my look, I had to go through a committee. And the committee, they're the ones who look at what I wanna do and then project out if any of my clients would actually be interested in something like that. Most of the time, the answer was no. I always had super long hair. And I I remember once when I was very young in my teen years, I went and locked it off because I was sick to death of people telling me what to do with my own look. And what that was was, like, maybe a forty dollar haircut turned into a couple of thousand dollars worth of consequences because I had to reshoot my book, remarket my image, and it was a whole thing. So by the time I got to, Singapore and Asia where, Andrea and I met and got to be friendly, she was always, you know, I was always, you know, having to cover my hair. I was having to cover my hair. And then I would go and see her and my scalp would be so sensitive. I was like, ow, ow, ow. Everything hurts. And that's when she was like, yeah. Your product the product line that these other salons are using are terrible. And we it's really bad for you. Let me do some research. And so that was the, line that you brought to me. I think it was actually o and m for Yeah. For a split of stuff. Oh, they're fantastic. I love it. And they smell things. I smell them. Speaker 0
It's an an Australian line, original mineral, and they had no resorcinol, no PPD, and no ammonia. And those are all ones that are very, you know, aggressive, like, the the toxins and chemicals. It's and especially if you have a sensitivity, you need to avoid them. Speaker 1
Right. Oh, and I I wish I'd known sooner because I was just putting myself through so much agony just to keep up with the fact that my gray was growing in. I was already in my, say, late twenties, early thirties by this time. And I remember I'm having to see Andrea at least every three to four weeks just because my it's I had aggressive growth, and it was just gray and white. And when you're in Asia, you have the pressure to keep your hair dark to kinda fit in and blend with the population. And that was the image that my that my agency wanted for me at the time. And so I had to you know, the difference between grays and black is, you know, quite stark. So as soon as it would grow in, I'd have to alright. Andrea, help. You know? Speaker 0
I mean, usually, as a hairstylist, we tell everyone, like, like, four to six weeks and then color your roots. But when you're on camera and you start seeing that contrast, like, right away, you kind of you get stuck. You have no choice. Right? Speaker 1
Oh, Speaker 0
yeah. And I I remember you telling me that you had gone to your producer, and I guess you can share that story, but you went to your producer for the, the network that you were working with and said, you know what? I'm thinking of growing up my gray and faced with that answer. Speaker 1
That's true. That was HBO Asia. And I remember they were just like, oh my god. Yeah. No. Absolute you know, that is you are killing your entire career if you do that. And that that whole conversation was prompted because I was sitting in Andrea's chair one day, and she's helping me out with coloring and everything. And there was a white wig behind her on the shelves. I don't know if you're separate this, Andrea, but I do. You have it and draped it. And I was like, I love it. I love it. I and it's my natural hair color now. My natural hair color is now gray or or this kind of silvery white. I'm like, why can't I do this? But the whole fashion industry, especially in Asia, is very youth oriented. So if you even showed a wisp of maybe crow's feet or wrinkles or weight gain or, you know, any of the things that women routinely face, you know, throughout our lives, It was instant career suicide. And so I remember they laughed at me and they're like, yeah. No. Color it again. So I did. But I remember I was sitting another time later in Andrea's chair, and I was like, well, how great am I? And I'll always remember her response because it's shocking. She said it was more than sixty percent. Speaker 0
Yeah. Speaker 1
And I'm like, are you serious? And she said, yes. Yes. And I was like, I'm growing this out. Why am I fighting nature here? Why am I spending all these chemicals and all this time and money to try to to to delay what's already happening? Speaker 0
It it's interesting how we equate, and we, like the general public society, of gray hair of being old, you know, which is so funny because it's not I mean, there there are peep like, as a hairstylist, I've seen I've seen kids that are nine years old with gray hair. I mean, not solid gray hair, but they get little, you know, little like, little sprigs of gray here and there. Yeah. It's it's really it's really unfortunate. Now do you find because we've seen a lot of these, especially with COVID, like, the gray transformations and and and even, like, the young younger generation who color their hair purposely, gray. Do you do you think or do you feel that we're seeing a bit of a, like, a change and, like, a more of, an accepting of it, or do you think we still need to have a long way to go? Speaker 1
I think it's absolutely changing, because when I first so I I didn't get to go gray with Andrea. That would have been, I'm sure, a whole process. But eventually, I left Singapore. I ended up in Phoenix where I had another hairstylist. And she was she reminded me so much of Andrea. She just knew hair. She knew everything about it. And she was looking at my hair, and I remember telling her, I was like, I'm really tired of fighting my hair. I'm tired of coloring it. Can we go gray? And she went through this whole thought process like, oh my god. Yes. And it would be beautiful. So I think this whole stripping process, I mean, it was a thing to finally go gray. One of the main things she taught me was don't fight your natural hair. Don't fight it. Go with it. Learn how to create, how to nourish it, how to make sure it looks beautiful, and it will work for you. And since that day, the compliments. Oh my gosh. So many people asking, do I do this on purpose? I'm like, this is my natural growth. I mean, this is this is me. It's gorgeous. Just today, two or three different compliments alone before I even made it into my office. Like, strangers are I love your hair. I want to do that. I'm like, by all means, do it. You're ready. I can see a little bit of growth in there. I was like, just let it happen. But I do tell people, I'm like, if you're not ready, Speaker 0
then don't do it. I think too, it it's like the process, like, going through it. Right? It's where people feel the need to say something to you. And I don't know if you experienced this when you're going through that, like, transition because it is a bit of a transition. Right? You go through some kind of crazy stages. It all depends on your hair too because everybody's hair is different. Mhmm. But I I would guess that, and I guess we you can speak about your experience. But I've heard from like, other people have told me that people are like, why are you choosing to do that? Like, why are you not covering your gray? You know? And and do you did you sorry. I feel like I'm throwing a bunch of questions at you. But but did you did you have people saying that to you, like, why are you doing that? And did you ever at any point second guess your choice of doing that? So when I came back to the middle of Texas, which is, Speaker 1
you know, I live in a rural area. I don't live near a city. I live in an area where people tend to cling to, like, maybe the more, you know, conservative type of life. I did have a lot of people. It's like, why are you doing this? You know? But mostly, it was my dad, to be honest, because this generation still equates a woman's worth with looking young. So my dad was always like, why are you doing this? You look so old. And I'm like, do I? Do I? I don't I do. And besides, my worth is not based on how young I look. Yeah. My worth is what's, you know, between my ears. Yeah. And I think I'm I thank you. But and I you know, he he kept pressing or something like that. And I'm like, okay, dad. If you really think I need to have dark hair, you can pay for it. I'm not paying for it because I don't want it. Speaker 0
Yeah. And the scarring and the irritation. No. Thank you. Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. Why that burning? Oh, no. No. No. Those days are gone. I'm never doing that again. What I felt the most accepting was women. So many women who are like, oh, this is so in right now. I really wanna do this. Did it cost a lot? Did it take a long time? What was it like while it was growing out? And I answered so many questions. Times are changing. Speaker 0
Times are changing for sure. Like, it's funny with with the fact that I've been doing hair and makeup for over thirty years, You know? And I always kinda say that I'm the anti hairstylist hairstylist because I think it's up to you. Like, if you if you wanna color your own hair and not go to a salon, do that. If you wanna have your hair long, do that. Like, it's up it's up to how you look in the mirror and how you see yourself. But if we're speaking like society and how society kind of looks at us, we need to understand that that, we generally look younger than than women our age in the fifties. You know? Speaker 1
When I look at movies, like, from the eighties and you see these actors, and they'll say, actually, underneath, this person was thirty seven, but they look like Yeah. Sixty something. You know? Like, what happened to that person? Speaker 0
Like, the gold like, the Golden Girls too. Right? Like, you look at the Golden Girls. I think the woman that so I'm fifty three now, and I think the woman that played Blanche Yep. I think she's I think her she was fifty three doing that. Right? And it's just so funny. Like, so, apparently, I'm a Golden Girl. Speaker 1
We always joke about office that I work in too. It was like, we're gonna end up at Shady Pines. Yeah. But we're gonna be fabulous. Speaker 0
Exactly. Slow mo hair clip. Exactly. Yeah. And it's interesting too because, like, if you if you look at that and people talk about the golden girls a lot lately, and and I'm not sure if it's, you know, the resurgence of that conversation because of social media and people comparing, like, the people in their fifties to to then, like you say. But I guess, again, back to the stereotypes of of how we look. Like, when I tell people that I'm fifty three, I get, oh, you don't look fifty three. It's like, okay. I like thank you. Like like, should I appreciate that? I don't know. Like, what does fifty three look like? You know? And then I have Zoe who's sixteen, and we were talking about, about aging. And, and and I said to her out of curiosity, I said, what what do you think is, like, an old old age? Like, older women? Like, what what's older to you? And she was, like, twenty seven. Speaker 1
Oh. Oh my god. Speaker 0
And she was being serious. She wasn't even being funny. You know? She was like, oh, like, I think twenty seven is really old, and that's like Blair. Blair is twenty seven. Right? And I and I was like, don't tell your sister you think she's old. But it's also like, if I'm fifty three and you think twenty seven Speaker 1
is old Yeah. What what in the world? Thanks. Yeah. Do your Speaker 0
kids have a perspective of what old is? Like, are you an Ollie old to them? Speaker 1
Yes. I am I am old but wise. Like, they they see me as kind of, like, a little bit more of the fashionable rather than the little old witch that lives in our kitchen with twenty seven cats. I only have one. Thank you. But but my son has a lot of memory of me with my dark hair. Speaker 0
Oh, wow. And and so I'm I'm curious just because I can't remember. What did you do with your transition? Like, did you start with getting, like, highlights, or you said you had it stripped out first? Like, because I know there's so many different ways of doing it. And I guess two part question, would you go gray that same way, or or do you have a different perspective of what you would do? Speaker 1
Okay. So, honestly, she was very honest with me because I had, probably about the same licked hair, maybe a tiny bit shorter, and it was had been freshly colored. And I was like, I would really love to just go gray. And she was up for the challenge. She was like, it's gonna take a minute. We're not gonna do this one day. And the transition, she goes, my idea is that we're just gonna let it grow in from the top. We'll try and match the color from the bottom as we go. Trim little bit so I don't have to go and do it like a shocking pixie cut or something like that. I don't carry a pixie cut very well. I was just being real honest with her. I was like, it looks really weird for me. And so she did the first stripping process super gentle. It did take, like, hours. No lie. Yeah. So we had a very fun time doing that. I would do it a hundred percent all over again and recommended her to anyone who talked to me about Oh, okay. You know, I was like, go see this woman. She knows what she's doing. What she did first was take out the old color, which, I'm sure Andrea knows will kinda leave it kind of like real brassy is a nice way of putting it. I literally went out of my house looking like, Big Bird from stress Sesame Street. It was bright yellow. It turned so brassy. So she was like, we have to let it rest. So you're gonna go, like, at least a weekend with this bright hair. And right here was she was real careful with my roots so that she wouldn't burn my scalp. So, of course, I had a little bit left over here. It looked I looked like a twenty year old skater chick because I would put my hat on and the sticky out, brassy Yeah. Blonde, nasty looking hair. And then Ollie was like, hey, man. I dig it. I love it. Let's go out. Yeah. For the freedom march and the women's march that was happening in Phoenix at the time. So there are a lot of pictures of me online with this crazy hair. But I loved it. I love the change. I love the the process. I loved everything about it. So then after that, she colored it like a slate gray. And then we just let this grow out so it looked highlighted, but it was natural. And then we trimmed it, then she'd lighten it as it grew together. It never was shocking. It was never weird. It was never like, oh my god. I'm doing this. Speaker 0
Yeah. No. It's just you. Speaker 1
It looked really nice the whole time. She did a great Speaker 0
job. And then how how long do you think it, took you? Like, what was that span of time? Because I know I mean, hey. I know some because I've done it for other people as well. Like and it also depends on how fast your hair grows and how much you're willing to cut off. Right? So, I mean, I feel like I've seen people that have gone, like, I think, six months or I mean, it can take over a year. Right? It just depends on the length of hair. Do you recall, like like, how long do you think it was for you? Speaker 1
It honestly so the active process of her having to go in and strip it and all that took probably twelve or twelve to twenty some odd hours. We did not do it all in one day. Then whenever we started to do the color corrections and the trimming and all, I'd say that took quite a while for my hair to actually grow it out and grow in. So several months easily. Speaker 0
Yeah. Well, I mean, it looks gorgeous now. Speaker 1
Oh, thank you. Speaker 0
I don't know if you can see, but I have a few, like, white, like, hairs coming in. I had this patch on under, like, under my fringe here that was always really orange, and that patch is now turning white. So but it's just a little bit. So Speaker 1
You know, it's so funny. And and people go gray at different times in their lives. So I there's, like, women in my family who have gone gray in their teens. And so I got the the gene to go gray early. My sister who is maybe a year younger, she still has really dark hair. Seeing my girlfriend start out with, like, a tiny little bit, then it'll have this beautiful little streak through it. And then when they're done with it, they just color it. And I'm like, okay. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Speaker 0
Don't do it. It's true. It's so and it's it's true. And it's also, like, you don't wanna go with what other people, say say to you. You know? Like, my family, all the women tend to get heavy eyelids, which happens to all kinds of women as we get older. It's just like your collagen and, you know, the elasticity kinda changes and you get these heavy eyelids. And my one aunt, hers are really severe to the point where her eyelids were basically covering her lashes. Right? And she was out it was not about gray hair, but she was out for lunch, with a friend of hers. And her friend, out of the blue, said, you know, you can get surgery. They have that now. You can get surgery to fix that. And it's such a weird thing for someone to say when you're not asked about it. And so my aunt, of course, was upset, and she asked me my opinion. And, she's like, what do you think? And I said, I think you should get yourself a new friend. Yeah. I think anybody that's gonna offer this information. So it's the same, like, with, like, I've had people tell me that they wanna grow out their gray hair, and so they're stretching it in between color and, you know, we have a plan of what we're gonna do. And same and it's so funny. I don't know why people feel that it's okay to say something. Like, if you're not saying, hey. What's your opinion of this what I'm doing? Speaker 1
Yeah. Speaker 0
Then why are you offering that? And I've had clients that have come to me and said, oh oh, I was out with a friend of mine, and she was saying, like, oh, I I look really old with my gray coming in, and I should color it. Like, what do you think? And I'm my answer is always gonna be the same thing. Get yourself a new friend. Yeah. And with with all your traveling and everything that you've done, we kinda back up a little bit too. Like, you're obviously you know, modeling kind of has a different impact on on one's psyche. But with all of your experiences, and you must have kind of almost, I I almost kinda think of, like, going from the US over to Asia. Right? So it's like you're traveling, doing various runway shows and whatever. You must have kind of gone through different, what's the word, like, standards of beauty. You know? Like, not even just with modeling because modeling obviously has a specific standard. But living in different countries and experience different countries, have you found, any impact from from that or anything that kind of, like, stands out for you? Or Speaker 1
Oh, sure. Absolutely. So I think I learned very, very young, and I'm I'm one of those people that public opinion does not sway me. Never has. Other people's opinions don't sway me. I have to figure it out for myself. So when I was quite young, I was told often that I was not desirous. There was nothing about me that was beautiful or pretty. And so the very notion that my my, you know, my name would have been in the same sentence as beautiful was laughable. And so I never grew up with that idea of, you know, what society needed me to be. Never. I knew I didn't fit the mold. I didn't know what I was gonna be. My parents didn't even know how to guide me at this point. My mother's society at the time, because she comes from Panama, their society for what is beautiful is more strongly built rounder women, stout women who are strong looking. And I was very reedy and tiny and, you know, I didn't even look female a lot of the times because I was just so skinny, and I was just like a little thing. So I knew very, very early on that beauty was not my thing. Then when I accidentally did trip through the back entrance of the modeling industry, like, by accident, whoo, I just found myself here. Then it became like, oh my god. You're beautiful. Let's take pictures. I'm like, excuse me? You there's me? What? Okay. Whatever. So here I am. I'm taking photographs by people who now find me beautiful. What does that mean? Well, I don't know. So I just followed you know, they're like, okay. We're gonna go to Japan. We're gonna go to Italy. We're gonna go to all these, you know, fashion meccas where people can make use your image to sell their product. Gonna pay you money for it. I'm like, I just wanna be a veterinarian. I don't know where I am. So here I am in Milan, and I'll always remember this because here I was, five nine, a hundred and ten, fifteen pounds, and I'm going between two different castings, like one for some fabulous designer over here, another fabulous designer over here. They are well known. People know who they are. I go up the stairs. I have one casting this way, one casting, you know, right and left. I go to the right, and they're like, oh my god. I love your look. You're beautiful. Then the photographer says, she's too skinny. Like, okay, fine. Thank you very much for your time. I go to the left and they're like, oh my god. I love your look. You're beautiful. The photographer says, she's too fat. So here's the here's what I've learned. In all my years in the industry and life and dealing with different cultures because some cultures I fit in and blended very easily, like, say, like the Greek culture or when I was over in Athens when that used to be more of a fashion place to go back in the late nineties, early two thousands. I fit in very well. I fit the fashion standard, their their beauty standards. I was just, you know, kinda there. Asia, same thing. Oh my god. She's beautiful. She's stunning. What I've learned that is beauty is completely arbitrary. The only thing I ever believed in in all of this stuff is myself. I was like, I my mother taught me and my dad taught me very young that the only thing that people can't take away from me is my intelligence. So go out into the world, you know, enjoy everything that this modeling life and this traveling life is gonna do for you. But you know, have a good time, but don't let it get to your head. That's what they always said. And I don't think ever did. I'm just like, I'm just here. I'm just me. If you find me pleasing to look at, fantastic. That makes me happy. But it's it's it's not gonna destroy my life if you don't. So Yeah. I just happen to be in an industry where that was super important. I didn't always understand why. I don't think. Speaker 0
It's it's true. You know? It's, I mean, my my experience, like, meeting meeting you and Ollie and working with you guys and working with you, of course, specifically, it's, and after working with, like, so many people in this industry, again, as well kind of globally, is you're you were always so down to earth. You know? This is how this is how it is. I mean, it's a cliche, but it's always a great question, I feel, like, whenever you hear interviews and things, like, advice that you would give to your younger self. From my perspective, you'll always have come across, like, a very strong, personality, always happy, always generous with people. And and, but is there anything that you could go back in time and tell your younger self? Speaker 1
Absolutely. Because, I would even I've even told Ollie this year recently. It's like, there's not one thing I would have changed about anything in my life so far. Zero regrets. So what I would tell my younger self is, like, don't doubt yourself. Everything you're doing is right. Speaker 0
That's great. I like I love that. And then what about our younger generation? I'm maybe it's the same thing. Maybe you would say the the same thing to the younger generation, but people that that might kinda listen to this podcast that are, you know, not yet approaching the, the age of the fuck you fifties. Speaker 1
I I am so fascinated by this younger generation, to be honest. Like, you and I both have children the same age. This generation are breaking so many norms that I had to grow up with and were hamstrung by. You know, we were just putting tiny little boxes. What I tell my daughter routinely, and I told her a very long time ago, is like, don't put yourself in a box. Other people will do it for you. And don't try to conform what everybody else is saying. Don't make yourself small. Other people will always try to make you smaller. So it's like, go out there, be yourself, be you, be loud. And anyone who tells you differently, fuck them. Speaker 0
I know. Yeah. We do we do the same with with Zoe too. Well, even though the older girls always, like, advocate for yourself and, you know, I think a lot of it happens in school where where, you know, the teachers don't give them, like, like, the mark that they feel they deserve. And we're always like, I I will go to bat for you, but you try first. Yeah. And Speaker 1
yeah. That's yeah. The kids have to know when to advocate for themselves. And please this is another note for the young ones out there. Please learn about all this stuff that your parents have to fix for you now. Because I'm telling you, kids don't know how to turn on the dang TV sometimes. I'm like, come on. Mom, how does this work? I'm like, come on now. Have you even tried? Yeah. It's not that hard. Speaker 0
Oh my gosh. Yeah. You know, it's it's interesting because, trying to get Zoe to watch a like, a movie or show with us, it's really rare that she actually sits down. But she talks about how she watches like, I'll say something about a movie, and she's like, oh, yeah. I watched it on TikTok. I'm like, it's a a two hour movie. Oh, yeah. You can watch it all on TikTok. I can't even imagine. I wouldn't like that at all. Speaker 1
It's now this attention span because of TikTok. It's like, it has to be in two seconds sound bites. If I can't get my point across in that amount of time, they're already bored and they're wandering off. So yeah. I'd Yeah. Maybe that's another bit of advice for the young ones. Have some patience. Learn a little bit. It's okay to to sit in this space and and be comfortable in it for a little bit. You might learn something new. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but you know what? I'm gonna tell you as well. What actually got me out of the industry was that I came back to the States, and I told them I wanted to go gray, and they said no. And I was like, okay. Speaker 0
They're like, bye. Thanks. It's just so great to see, like, all these gray transitions and everything. Right? And it's great that you can talk about it and share your information. We had, a news anchor, Lisa Lafleme, a couple years ago. They they canceled her contract. So they didn't renew Lisa Lafleme's contract because of her gray hair. They made it seem like it was something else, but, basically, it came to light that it was because she was gray. And, honestly, she looks stunning. You know? Here's this, like, news anchor, like, powerful woman that that shows, like, this this age positive, you know, whatever. And, yeah. So it became this, like, big thing, but she's doing a lot more things now and in the public eye and just talking about this kind of ageism towards, women. It's fucked up how a woman can choose to just be natural. It's like you just wanna be yourself, but society is like, no. No. We don't want you to be yourself. Speaker 1
That is fucked up. What I would say to that news company is how embarrassing. Did this gray hair make this anchor somehow unable to do her job? I don't think so. What a terrible setback. I mean, this woman is so qualified. The only thing that changed was that she changed her hair color to gray. Are you serious? What century are we living in? I mean, this is the trend. The trend is that we are to be as, you know, as comfortable with ourselves, our natural selves, presenting our natural selves. You know? Why? I don't understand. Because they're trying to sit there and say maybe they need to bring someone younger in. Well, there's ways of doing that without getting rid of the woman who's been there for ages, and she's fantastic. So you gotta come up with something stronger than that. Speaker 0
I I've even had people, like, with me, like, when I because I'm very open with how old I am. I've had people tell me that I should stop doing that. This is gonna hurt you in the business. And it and it's like, well, if it's gonna hurt me I mean, this is another reason why I wanted to start this podcast because I was also just kinda thinking, like, for people to try and, like, tell me to stop sharing how old I am, I feel like it's it's empowering because if we have enough of us with a voice that can say, like, there's nothing wrong with aging, and and you can do it in a way where you're not reaching for your walker. I mean, hey. If you need a walker, so be it. So be it. You can still be a a positive member of society just because you're over fifty with gray hair or even under fifty with gray hair. You know? Speaker 1
That's what I was telling my daughter. There are people who are going to push you down because they don't understand it. Well, that kind of sounds like a they problem. It doesn't sound like a me problem. I'm okay. I'm still alive. I still get up every day and I still have to do all the things I did my twenty year old self had to do. So what's the difference here? This society trying to put you in a box and say this is where you make sense. Oh, yeah. Fuck that. Speaker 0
It it's interesting too because, I'm I mean, sure, there there's definitely the influence of the media. Right? But a lot of times people say, like, the fashion entertainment beauty industry are the ones that that kind of send that message. And, definitely, it's not that they're not. I mean, when you have things like this happen with Lisa Lafleme, but we also have different cultures that also have that. Like, oh, once you get to be a certain age, you should make sure you retire and and, you know, or or not not do this, not do that. And I think that, I think that we just need to have more voices out there. I feel like if we talk about, perimenopause and menopause, for me right now, it it bugs me because I feel like I'm in that age. Right? Mhmm. But, I feel like it's become a really trendy topic. And so pea I feel like so many people are jumping on that bandwagon. And so it's hard to kinda filter through who is legit and trying to be helpful and who's just trying to, like, get some money because it's the new trend. Speaker 1
How to make sense of it all. Right? Yeah. My whole take on all of this is that our society is only strengthened by people who test it, who change those boundaries, And that's people like you and me. It's like we're here. We're living our truth whether they like it or not. And so, like I said, I'm not here to make anyone's life better just by putting myself in a box. I am here. I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. So menopause. We're talking about perimenopause menopause. K. So I work in a doctor's office in a women's clinic in Texas. We have an absolute ball. We educate women as much as we can, especially working them through the OB process, the fact they're going through through pregnancy. And then now here we are knocking on the door of menopause and perimenopause. We see all kinds of products, people coming to our doors telling us, oh, hey. Try this new face cream. Try this new device that we're gonna be a little bit invasive and then insert inside of you to try to zap your muscles and make everything wonderful. There's a lot of junk out there. There is. And so for me, I'll tell you my whole status, I'm menopausal already. I've already tripped through that back door and somehow find myself menopausal and surrounded by okay. Well, what do I do about this information? So I am lucky that I'm in a women's clinic where I can get this information without it being too shady. And the doctor that I work with, she is all about where's the science? Fine. We can do fillers and we can do all this fun stuff if that makes you happy, but that's not we're not looking at a quick fix. We're looking at what we're gonna do to make your life better in the long run. And so I think that I think that's what people should ask themselves. Is this gonna do well for me in the long run? Because the long run is already here. I didn't think I was ready to be menopausal. I brought my lab results home, and my doctor just looked at me. She goes, you madam, are done. And I looked around. Speaker 0
Oh my god. Speaker 1
I thought I was gonna cry, and I said, ma'am, where's the champagne? I am ready for this next stage of life. And I I think that pretty much just sums up my whole existence. I'm like, I'm here, and I'm ready. Let's let's do something fun. Let's I'm not saying you're gonna cry that I'm female. I'm not gonna cry that I'm menopausal. I'm not gonna cry about any of this or that I'm gray or that I don't fit the norm. I don't care about the norm. I am the norm whether they like it or not. Speaker 0
Oh my god. I love that. You, madam, are done. Well, amazing information. Great shares. Linda, thank you very much. This was my first episode of the fuck you fifties, so I appreciate your support. Speaker 1
Thank you, ma'am. Thanks for having me. Thanks for it's so good to see you again. It has been too too long. I can't stand that too many years have gone between us. We got we'll make it right, though. We'll make it right. Speaker 0
But it's also like, so many years have gone by. Right? But it also feels like yesterday. And, like, even when we had that catch up phone call, it's kinda like nothing. Right? Speaker 1
Exactly. It was like no time at all had passed. And I'm like, oh my gosh. And so picking up from however many years ago it was, this girl listened to this. Speaker 0
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Well, it it's great. Like, I I just love that you're always so open and just, like, normalize the conversation of, you know, of us getting older and gray hair and the all of all encompassing. It's, amazing. Speaker 1
I'm so I'm so excited you're doing this because I do think there's some light that needs to be shed on all of these topics, and I know you and I could have gone on forever. Speaker 0
Yes. We need to get cut off. Thanks for tuning in to the fuck you fifties. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to follow and rate the podcast. And we'd love to connect with you on Instagram, so be sure to follow us at the fuck you fifties. The fuck you fifties is hosted by Andrea Clare and edited and produced by Bespoke Productions Hub. See you next time. 
